The Monster Under My Bed
Updated: Dec 9, 2019
Sometimes self doubt creeps into my mind like a once sleeping monster nestled under my bed. He has been disturbed by hunger pains. He's craving a tasty snack filled with the ingredients of my positivity. He sneaks up and feasts on my confidence, determination, motivation until I am left with almost nothing. He only leaves behind the crumbs of doubt that push me into starvation mode feeling confused, anxious and worried. He's satisfied now and ready for another nap until the next awakening.
I cant quite put my finger on exactly when I started to feel this emotion of self doubt and worry. It was like I had this idea in my head that I was too late to the game, failure was the only option and I should always prepare myself for the worst. It wasn't until I started reading self motivation books like "Girl Wash Your Face" by Rachel Hollis, that I was told it's a good thing to fail...to be honest these books helped me a small portion in sorting out negative feelings but the real work that needed to be done was 99% on me. No matter who's page I followed, what podcast, how many books I read, doubt was always in the back of my mind. So I'm here today to tell you about some of the real life choices and experiences I have encountered that have almost put this monster to rest for good.
1. I talk to MYSELF the same way I would talk to my best friend, with kindness, compassion and honesty. I no longer say rude and hurtful things to myself like "your to stupid to go to school, you don't cook dinner enough, you haven't been to the gym in a week, you're a horrible mother for..." All these things that used to cycle in my brain, I stopped all of it. Could you imagine living with someone that never left your side saying these things to you day in and day out. We all do it! JUST STOP. Be kind to yourself, let the little things go, you'll do better next time, cut yourself a break. When you talk to yourself in a positive way your spirits are lifted, you become proud of yourself for the little things, and you become your biggest supporter. What happens when we have a support system? WE SUCCEED!
2. Stop caring what other people think. This has been one of the BIGGEST things that has awaken the monster. Im not saying, don't take advice from people who care about you. I'm saying if you have an idea or a goal and your scared to implement that goal because of what other people will think of you, you're giving them the power to control your life! When it comes down to it, if you try something new and it doesn't work out, the only people that are going to care is the people that truly love you. The people that will be around to help you get back up and keep going. Anybody that has time to judge you is only going to be there when your on your half way up the mountain and they are still at the bottom.
3. Identify the WHY. Why are you having feelings of doubt. When these emotions do come up, instead of letting it take over and ruin my day, I ask myself why I'm feeling this way. Did someone say something to me? Do I have an exam coming up? Is my house a mess? Is this actually a rational thought I need to address. Understanding the why will help you work through it. Sometimes all I need to do to mitigate the overwhelming feelings of failing in every aspect of my life is clean my house. I know it sounds weird, but try it.
4. Talk to someone about it. More often than not, when we are feeling down if we reach out to someone we can trust and that we respect it will turn everything around. Sometimes we just need to hear another point of view and get some encouragement to push through. Other times we just need to be heard and vent our frustrations. Even if you have someone in your life who knows how to make you laugh. Call that person. You will always feel better after a good laugh.
5. My last and maybe most important suggestion is take care of your mind and body like you would care for a brand new addition of your favourite sports car. I'm not going to preach going to the gym everyday for an hour and eating a salad every night is the goal. However, watching what you fuel your body with and how you use your body plays a huge role on your mental health. Start small by taking 10 mins a day to try some new yoga poses, change out a filling dinner for a nutrient dense green smoothie, take your dog for a nice walk, prepare a healthy meal with the whole family. Whatever you can find time for, it will make a difference in how you feel when you wake up the next day.
If anyone has any tips and tricks they use in times when they are having feelings of self doubt feel free to comment below! It could resinate with someone else and completely change their day.